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Thursday, April 15, 2004

Be careful what you wish for 

1-7

Headline: MARINER'S WORST START IN FRANCHISE HISTORY

Think that got Lincoln's attention? Well let's give the microphone to his identical twin, AKA Bill “I eat off of Howard’s left buttcheek” Bavasi:

"Everyone wants to get off to a good start and it's disappointing," he said prior to Wednesday's game. "I don't know these guys all that well, but am confident that no one is more disturbed by the record than the players. "None of us are going to panic, but we are going to be angry and real disturbed and look at things a lot more closely. We're not going to have panic set in, but we have to keep plugging away."

Translation: “I’m clueless, sides’ I ain’t doing shit until Howard barks at me.”

Bavasi, you tool. I guess we should have known that you didn’t know these guys that well! In fact, from what I’ve seen of your work so far it seems you don’t know THE MAJORITY of major-league baseball players all that well!!! You took McCracken over Colbrun????? What psuedo alter-universe are you living in, if I may ask???

NEWSFLASH BAVASI: M's CAN'T PLAY small ball anymore. They don't have the defense to do it.

You, Howard, and Melvin, ripped on Cameron for striking out too much with runners on base. The thing is without his phenomenal defense your no longer in the position to scratch runs in the first place. Ironic, eh? Did you know that not only is Cameron the best defensive player in the game, but he is also the most underrated offensive player as well? Oh wait, I forgot!! You “DON’T KNOW THESE GUYS ALL THAT WELL”!!! I apologize. Keep doing what you do, I could care less at this point. You WILL reap what you sow. All three of you stooges.

If the worst start in franchise history doesn’t get you clowns motivated, then I guess were just going to have to suck it up some more!!!!!

Let’s recap:

That’s 1-7!!!!!

I’m speechless. I’m absolutely baffled at how bad the M’s have performed. Sure the defense is still solid compared to an average major-league team, but that’s not the point. This is a team that LIVED on great defense. Pitchers can no longer attack hitters with confidence. The team can't play behind because it has NO power. The bullpen is weaker. Our manager is mentally impaired. Both catchers BLOW, and Wilson not only can’t hit, now he cant even throw ON TOP OF IT, making him suck at a level that I can’t even comprehend. Oh right, and I forgot to mention the bench, which is possibly the worst in major-league history!! HURAAAAY!!!

I knew they’d be worse this year, but 1 and 7???? It looks like I owe Joe Sheenan an apology! Oh, and what’s that, did I just hear the other manager from a REAL contender sympathize with us??? That makes two out of two now. Pathetic.

This team is struggling to climb out of their collective graves. The players are getting NO LOVE from the front office. Its a classic case of cause and effect: The Mariners are dying. Theres NO LIFE out there.

Its becoming painfully clear that its time for some change, and I for one, am all for it.

I’m not saying that I hope the Mariners keep losing. I’m just saying that, without a significant move (or twenty), the Mariners WILL keep losing.

I’m sorry Edgar, I really am… it wasn’t supposed to end like this…

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Sunday, April 11, 2004

M's RALLY!!!!! 

HAHAHAHAHAH WE FINALLY WIN!!!!!!!!


AGH, so torn... losses stir up Front Office.... force change.... but Its A WIN!!!!!

Winn made a nice defensive play!!!!

YEAHHHHHH!!!!!!


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Are you kidding me??? 

"That's happened to them a couple of times in this series,'' Oakland manager Ken Macha said. "Last night, Dan Wilson smoked the ball (with two on and no one out) and we got a double play out of it. Sometimes that happens”

How sad is this? The manager of our hated “rivals”, the A’s, is feeling sorry for us.

Well, I think its safe to say that we’ve established ourselves as a pathetic baseball team. Its time for Ichiro, Boone or Edgar to step up, and I don’t mean on the field. We need a hitter. THEY are the untouchables. THEY should let it be known.

We’re lining up for our sixth straight loss. But what the hell… I’m going to take a page from the Mariner Optimist and try to look at the positive.

Imagine Howard’s face after he picks up a copy of the Monday PI:

HEADLINE: M's WORST START IN FRANCHISE HISTORY

Imagine the shadow of failure that crosses his face as he realizes he has single-handedly destroyed the most promising sports franchise in Seattle history. "OH NO!! Yamauchi is gonna have my ass!!!!"

As much as these losses pain my soul, the thought of Howard sweating gives me a warm feeling in my stomach. I hope we lose every game in April, if that’s what it takes to change things in Seattle.

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